Monday, June 26, 2006














OH Damn, you can't view the Chinese characters!! Nvmz!






Someone messaged me before... I thought... Who the hell??!!

This is how the conversation (or lack of) went...


谢丹 佳美公司 sends:



You have failed to receive file "photo.png" from 谢丹 佳美公司. (Yeps, some Chinese chick trying to send me a pic of herself...)

谢丹 佳美公司 says:
我的好友向我推荐了一个诚信的白领社交圈,看到那里的朋友都是用真实的姓名、资料和照片，真有种世外桃源的感觉啊！另外还惊喜的发现这里大多是高素质的人群：海外华人、企业家、各界精英、白领俪人、留学生…… 我们都渴望多结识一些对自己事业和生活有帮助的朋友，难道不是吗？直接点击或复制链接加入我的圈子: http://www.66663.cn/herry
(Still not too sure what she was really going on about here... Maybe something like, a friend of mine something something, when talking (?!) to a read friend to use real name and picture will have something something of a feeling! In addition/on the other hand, something, something, blah, blah, blah homestay student (?!) we also drink (?!) wish for more friends who can help with work/career and in life (??!), is that not true? Something, blah blah my page(?!) http://.....)

A girl with many knives, but none of them are sharp. says:
hi..who is this by the way?
谢丹 佳美公司 says:
我是谢丹~``是你的朋友介绍我认识你的~
(I am Xie Something~'' have met you through a friend of yours~)
A girl with many knives, but none of them are sharp. says:
xie?
谢丹 佳美公司 says:
不好意思~老板找我,空了聊~~
(Oh sorry~ Boss is looking for me, chat when we're free~~)
A girl with many knives, but none of them are sharp. says:
am i free to chat?

Yeps, that was my reply to her with the 4 years of Chinese knowledge up my sleeve. LOL! Then I reread it, and I realised she said, "Sorry ~ Boss is looking for me, (chat another time) when we're free" I think that was much more accurate than my first attempt thinking that she asked me if I was free to chat! HAHAHHAHAA :D






My dad has been worried about my younger brother. He is starting to stress (actually not just starting, more like he has been stressing for some time and is now showing it to us) because he believes that my younger bro is too slack heading into upper school and won't get anywhere until he starts to work harder.

My distressed father further urged me to, "Go talk some sense to your brother. Find him a personal tutor... If he doesn't want to study he might as well quit and go to TAFE and become an electrician or something like that..." (translated from Chinese)... O M G... Does this mean that my father has given up????????

I am shocked. He NEVER gives up. When he said that, I couldn't help but feel like I was tearing up. I mean, I didn't turn out the way he wanted me to be. And, again, to conform to a "good daughter" was indeed very difficult. Maybe I shattered his soul... shattering his belief in the rest of his children...

I wish I wasn't such a disappointment to my parents. I wish my brother would stop playing War Craft and all those evil online games. GRRRRRRR. Life ruiners. *sigh* What to do? What to do?

I am starting to feel like I am becoming a part-time parent as well. Not only am I a professional nagger now, I too, feel the stress that my parents feel. The fear that my brothers won't get the best out of life, being influenced by bad people etc... I am only lucky that I can turn back to merely the futile daughter who doesn't give a fark and then turn a blind eye to what ever comes of my brothers.

I am torn between wanting to understand, and actually understanding where they are coming from and how they may feel... the pressure and the fear of failing and not living up to our parents' expectations and so on and so forth. Likewise, I can see where my parents are coming from - the hardships they endured in their lifetime and the struggles they encountered in a new country, learning, adapting and coping the best or the only way they knew how, just to attain a somewhat better future for us - a brighter, better way to living than what they had seen and lived before.

I think it is time for me to grow up. I need stable income. I need a job! I want to serve my parents in their old age, the way they cared and nurtured for us. I desperately need to grow up...

...Just makes my prior rambles seem so insignificant now...






Left work early today just so I could come home to do some work on my computer. Starting to feel a tad stressed out cos of my analysis. But I'm planning to do an all-nighter tonight so hopefully I'll have it at least 90% complete by tomorrow!

Was doing my daily routines in which I have been neglecting since my work experience.. so I've been checking emails, logging on to Friendster to see updated pics and other random stuff.

Couldn't help but click on "Read Daily Horoscope" in Friendster which read, "There's a silver lining to every cloud, and today you'll see one much more clearly..." and to that I began thinking..

Where the hell is the silver lining? Cos I sure can't see it... My mind's jumping from, Why do I want so much?, Why do I expect so much from my boyfriend?, Is it because I really believe that he is possibly "the one" for me and need some security that we will be able to last till we're old and grey as a successful and loving couple??, Or maybe I'm just too demanding? But what exactly do I want? More importantly, what do I need?? ALL THE WAY TO, Am I just PMS-ing???

But then on further analysis, my horoscope read, "It's one of those half and half days -- some good, some bad -- but the overall quality is totally up to you and what attitude you choose to adopt. It may be tempting to hop on the 'poor me' bandwagon and take advantage of the sympathy that's offered, but resist this urge. You really need to keep your chin up -- it will help you get a better view of the silver lining on that cloud. Play the optimism card every chance you get, and you will sway your day into something quite pleasant." So maybe I am being a sooky bum and the motto, "poor me" is really starting to get me down...

I mean, is my life really that bad? Is everybody else really better than I am? Do I really need a clingy boyfriend?

Perhaps this arrangement isn't all sooo bad after all. I suppose it does allow me the space to grow as an individual and a lot of time for me to think about.. erm, myself??

And back on the positive self-talk, I deserve attention. I deserve self attention! I don't need somebody else to make me feel better about myself. I don't need somebody else to "make my day". I should be able to do that all by myself...

AND to that, I am going to my belly dancing lessons tonight! No longer shall I neglect my passions. No longer shall I put anybody else first before myself...

I'm so sick of that nagging voice in the back of my mind. The one that goes, "Oh, but I feel bad cos BLAH BLAH really wants me to help out/to go out/to do this and to do that etc."

Why should I feel bad when I am the one who is helping another out? Why should I feel bad if I can't help them out?

Everyday, I feel the pressure to conform to societal's value of a "good daughter", a "good gf", a "good daughter-in-law" (*cough cough* I'm not that yet, might I add) and all the rest. To hell with that. I know I am a good person. I will dedicate my time accordingly to those who need me the most. And yet I too, deserve to be good to myself. I deserve ME-TIME. I deserve it!!!!

For who else would take care of me, if I don't take care of myself???

- E N D of R A M B L E S -




Sunday, June 25, 2006


Finally got some time to blog!!! Yipeee!!

It's been such a long and tiring 3 weeks. For those of you who didn't know, I have been on work placement since the 6th of June. The place I am at is a small community centre but it provides many services for their clients and I am happy to say that I have been proud to be a part of! The first week was rather slow because it was really quiet, I had to adjust and get to know the staff and and I didn't have much responsibilities... so I felt a bit out of place... Anyhow, since then - although I am still not permitted to pick up phone calls, I have been facilitating English classes, computer classes, kids craft classes and even been out on a house call to a client!! OOOOOO, it has been interesting! BUT I'm bounded by the confidentiality code so I am not to say anything!! =X

Hmmm I felt like I had so much to blog but I can't remember half of it!! Aiiiiii. Well, the most fresh in my memory would be past two nights...

Friday night we went to some After Exams Celebration at Church. It was pretty dead when we arrived but it got better as time went on. Saw Dom, Sophia and her sis, Diana!! They looked so cute in their outfits and hats!! Very kewl! Also saw Mark who came back for a few days from Adelaide... Christine, Vicki, Paul, Alton, Mike and Nat all ended up leaving early, leaving me, Jimmy, Thomas, Joyce and Mark. Even Soph and co. left early cos her sis had a mishap!!! Was a little worried for a bit, cos I hadn't seen a first timer for awhile!! Luckily everything turned out fine and she was just hungry when she got home and later at Thomas' place!! hehehe ;P

I didn't end up getting home till 6.30am!! I was so super duper tired but I messaged my aunty as I was going to sleep and she actually replied me (thinking that I was just up and about early!) and we had an sms war back and forth about the movie tickets (some children's movie festival from work that I had taken with the intention to take my cousin! :( The opportunity cost of partying hard. :( I really wanted to go to those movies! *cries*) that I had wanted to give her (cos I knew I wouldn't have been able to wake up and go by 12noon!!!). Finally I slept around 7am - but was woken up several times by phone calls and all... *sigh* I was OH SO tired! Felt so crapppppppppppppp!!!!

And as if I hadn't had enough partying, I went out AGAIN last night!!! Marge and I went to Angela (Anaconda's) little birthday dinner at Dao Vien in Northbridge! It was very nice to see her and Frances again - they were my bummies from 4 years of Chinese (ok, Ange was a slacker, she left us 3rd year I think!!!) Anyway, fretting that I was a horrible friend, I drove off the freeway to IGA on Canning Hwy to buy her some flowers... My first choice were some long stem roses but they still had a shitload of thorns at the bottom so I thought it wouldn't be very nice to give her some prickles, so I decided against it and chose some g e r b e r a s (I know now Mags, it's gerbeRas, and NOT gerbras!!!!!!! ;P) instead!! Turned out they were a better choice (cheaper too!), cos she said she loved them! :P They were a beautiful hot pink and yellow so what's not to love?!

We arrived there bout 745pm but were not the latest... An IB (International Business, like me - NOT a typo there - not IT!!!! ) graduate aka Jason (who actually resembled Clara, but I was too scared to ask him if he was related to her cos I didn't want to embarrass him that I thought he looked like this girl I once knew!!!) and a future doctor aka Justin came latest! *Phew* Glad it wasn't us!! LOL. The table arrangement was a tad crapola though, cos the restaurant put two round tables together and I was left sitting in the gap between the two, so when I turned one way I was facing Ange's main table and when I turned the other I was facing the late-comers table!!!

Jason asked Marge how she knew Ange and Mags started blushing like mad cos she was like, erm, I don't know her but I came with her (me). LOL then everyone had a laugh at it cos it was such a funny moment! Then we pretty much kept to ourselves until we started telling jokes, sharing our lives and where we were at with our studies, our careers. One of the funnies were when Justin was talking about pap smears and what docs look for in a cervix - texture, colour and what? Well Mags had a little chuckle to herself cos she wanted to say, taste!!! EWWWW if the docs had to taste down there for each and every patient, how gross!! And of course we had a little laugh when someone asked Justin which field he would want to go into and I whispered to Marge, gynacologist (cos isn't that what most guys wanna be?! jkz jkz)!!! GOSH I am such a CHILD!!!!! And I must leave with this lovely joke from Jason, "A hotdog and a burger walked into the bar and the bar guy goes, we don't serve food here..." BaHAHhaHAHHAhaaa!!!! Get it?!! Ahhh he was such a funny dude!!! We then had a "joke-telling" face off where he'd say one then I'd say one, then Mags ended with the donkey joke!!! Gotta go download more jokes for next time!!!

Then we went to meet up with Kathy and Sophia in Dai Pai Dong in Northbridge. On the way there we bumped into Helen and Chun who were heading to Estelle's birthday at Dinos and then I bumped into Melissa and Yan who had just finished dinner from the Singaporean restaurant (they're my work mates). She's one of those kiss and greet peoples and I dislike it cos I usually don't know what to do!! I kinda just let them smooch me on the cheek and be done with it!!! When we left she leaned over to give me another peck on the cheek but then I thought she was gonna give me a peck on both sides so I stood there n moved my face to and from her face like an eeeeediotttt! LOL she probably thought I was werid!!! Then when we finally made it to Dai Pai Dong, we sat and chatted for a bit before heading to Metros.

Metros was alright. Started off kinda annoying cos they kept playing hard core hip hop, but as the night progressed it got better. It was fun to hang out with Kat cos she is so bubbly and amusing so it's never boring with her. I had a bit of stomach pain during the night so we sat down in some "sectioned-off" corner and Marge got tired later so we sat down some more. It was pretty interesting with a drunken Thomas going on about the same old thing (getting married to Lix, Lix, Lix, Lix this, Lix that, Jimmy being his best man, and Jimmy popping to get him started on the speech, Lix ONLY wanting males and no brides maids or maid of honours (!?!) and him spitting on my every few minutes). BUT to give him credit, his gibberish throughout the night just proves how much he loves Lix AND he expressed to Marge and Kat that I was "family". AWWWW *beams* :D. Not much to say bout Jimmy - he was his usual self and did not pay any attention to me!! GRRR Stoopid poohead!! Blehhhhhhh

Luckily, we didn't have another late night. We left Metros around 230am and Mags and I went to the South Perth Maccas for a quick snack and I got home around 330am!! It was a lovely night. :D

I remember there were some funnies that I was supposed to blog but I have totally lost it and can't remember them!! Must ask Mags about it again later!!!! I just remember that they were hilariousssssss, but that's bout it!!




Sunday, June 04, 2006


I went to work thinking that my shift started at 6.30pm. When I realised at the traffic light that I was actually meant to start at 6.00pm - I started to panic - in true Evelyn style.. Okay, so 95% of the time I am usually late for casual gatherings, but I'm very particular about work - I HATE turning up late because I don't like the stress of rushing here and there and having that feeling of being unreliable or unorganised before a shift. So I thought I'd call them and tell them my mistake, but I left it because I thought, well at least I'm on the way and not doing a no-show...

When I got there I couldn't find the maitre'ds so I was a little nervous that they would bust me... Luckily I saw Kathy and she made me feel better (as she always does) by telling me not to worry and made a lil joke about me hiding and helping her do her tables! She's so lovelyyyyyy! Always brings a smile to my face. =D

Because I rocked up late, Edwin gave my tables (which were the Western Force players tables *phew*) to Sara. As soon as I bumped into her, she started ranting that she got my tables and that I should tell Edwin that I was here so that she could take back her tables or that we continue with the arrangement etc. I felt a bit "bombarded" because that's how she can make people feel. But nonetheless, I like her. She is opinionated the majority of the time, but she is nice to me. :) Finally when we found Edwin she said she would do my tables (even though she wanted early) and I couldn't really be bothered arguing with her, so I agreed. She said that she felt bad cos she knew that she always had early and that I always had lates so she said she would take my tables (she was placed on early finish initially). In the end she took my "late" finish BUT found a newbie worker to take her "late" - therefore, she STILL got an early finish! LOL I guess she technically did what she was good at to get her way, but I am glad cos if I were put back on those tables I would not have bothered to try to swap for an early as I am usually unsuccessful (not as good at convincing than Sara!!) and I didn't really NEED to finish early, just wasn't quite in the mood to work...

Apparently, I looked sad - several girls pointed that out to me... I guess I couldn't help but feel crap cos of that "fag"... It's annoying when I try so hard to avoid him, yet I'll always bump into him... It's like I am forced to cross paths with him. GRRR But it's life and I'll deal with it. It's been a long time. MUST GET OVER IT. MUST GET OVER IT. MUST GET OVER IT. *Be Strong*

Vincent's on higher duties now. He has lost weight and looks "not as happy as before" noted Kathy. I agree, he looked much more cheery before... Must be the stress of work and his hectic uni schedule...

After work, me and Kat went to visit Christine. She and JJ was with Resa and Yugi cos Resa the romantic, hired out the Riverside Suite for a belated birthday celebration for her hubby. The suite was BEAUTIFUL and the view, SPECTACULAR! But at $1000/night, it's expected.

Had a lil slide show of pics they took from the arvo with their limo transportation to dinner, to Christine and Resa's jaccuzi funtime!! LOL They looked so cute with bubbles everywhere! I told Christine they were perfect friendster photos!! ;P

Christine also passed me lil gifts all the way from Singapore!! Joyce - JJ's bro's gf, remembered me and got me a lil cute purse (!!) and Christine got me a pair of beautiful earrings that looked heavy, but weren't when on the ears!!!! KEWLLLIOOOOO!! There's also a mixture of aqua and blue swaroski crystals dangling from the hoops - how absolutely divine!! Thx Chrissy Jie and thx to Joyce for me!! *CuDdLeZ*

Later, me and Kat left, after my show of belly dancing and self defence techniques and random chit chats.. HAHAHA But as we were about to leave, Kat and I decided to head into the Casino to eat!! We thought we could eat at Jokers Cafe and receive our staff discount... Little did we know that we DON'T get staff discount there anymore!! POOEYYYY! X:| But it was $13 well spent because Kat and I chatted to the early hours of the morning (3am - late considering we finished work at 11.30pm!!). We gushed about our boys, our memories, our thoughts on our boys, our relationships, work, rumours at work, our boys, and our boys. HEhee We shared some lovely lil moments together and I had a great time. *Lub u Kat*




Saturday, June 03, 2006


Me and Marge have been gathering for the past two Fridays (by last minute chance!) in hope to taste some delicious gourmet desserts and for some teh tarik. BUT we've been struck by a light of misfortune because each time we've been hunting, places were either closed or closing or did not sell gourmet desserts (arghh!! @#$#?%!!). I mean, there were plenty of cakes and all, but we wanted those marinated strawberries in a brandy schnapps basket and bombe alaskas (you know, the ones that Cocos serve - yes and we know cos we've been there on several girlie get togethers just for the sake of those desserts - TSK TSK shame on us for not dragging our bums there earlier you say.. well AS IF WE DIDN'T KNOW - the previous week I had to pick up my bro and last night I finished work late so NER NER, Cocos was closed by then *sob*) type of desserts but every other place we went had nothing more than carrot cake, tiramisu and some sort of cheese cake! EHHH BORING. Gosh, the cafes here in Perth are pathetic!

Perhaps we have been looking in the wrong places - so does anyone know of any places which serve taste-worthy desserts??






Last night was my first night at YU. Luckily I had Vivian with me. She's chatty so she was lovely company. :) Having met some of the YU workers from before also helped our shift as we were familiarised with some of the staff so there wasn't that layer of "I don't wanna talk to you cos I'm too busy to give a fark" type of feel. Most of the chefs were also really nice as we've met them through Chinese banquets and I believe cos they recognise me through my association with Jimmy's parents. hehe ;P

Vivian and I were the "food runners". Basically we had to bring out foods on trays to the relevant stations. We both had trouble with some of the large trays. They were quite heavy because they use "gold" stands and covers to present the food. But it DID look fantastic.

I also had mega sore feet after working for half an hour! I wore my lil pointy black kitten heels cos it looked much better with the uniform (I must admit I looked much better in the YU uniform than the CC - much more flattering! ;P)... I thought I would've had trouble around the ankle area so I had put bandaids there in advance which didn't end up helping cos it was the wrong place! I also put those party feet gel pads in case I got sore feet. But I ended up taking them out and throwing them in the bin (argh my $11.95!!) cos my feet felt like they expanded and the gel pads was suffocating them! Arghhh, so I got a painful blister on my right foot cos of that! Next time I know not to worry about beauty and to wear comfortable shoes! Pooey though, cos my black shoes for CC are damn ugly!

Other than that, it was pretty fun to work there. It wasn't that busy so I didn't feel too rushed at any time. Though, it seemed alright last night, I know it may not always be all rosy and cheerio so I wouldn't consider transferring from CC (to anywhere else) as yet.

I got work at 6.30 tonight. Heard that it is compulsory for us to all (I don't know whether it's just the lates or allllll the staff) to stay back and reset for the following day functions after each shift. OMG, that would mean we wouldn't finish until 2,3 or 4am plus!!!! It's not the amount of hours really, it's just that after each function it's already late so everyone would be tired and slow. If we were to work 10 hours in the day it wouldn't feel as bad as 10 hours at night till the break of dawn!! GOSH, just don't know what the managers are thinking... BUT if this is for real, I reckon that it would be more productive if ALL staff stayed on to close the function and ALL staff stayed on to reset. That way we can get things done faster and we can all go home earlier, AND there wouldn't be hurt feelings if the same people were always made to stay back late etc.






The other night I was partnered up with a fag (in this context I am not trying to demean the gay community but am using the term to describe someone I despise and feel absolutely crap about) at work. I have been working quite successfully by avoiding him at all costs and not succumbing to the shit from the CC crowd because of it. While I have moved on happily and am doing great, I thought that I could mind my own business and do my own thing.. I didn't think I would be paired up with him. I mean, what are the chances right? When our names were called out, I felt numb. Numb because I didn't expect to be paired with him, and numb because I hadn't thought about the shit since ages and hearing his name brings me back some shivers.

So in my desperation, I begged a "neutral" (I refer to him as neutral because he is not part of the gossiping crew and is not on either sides) party to swap with me. AND HE DID. Thanks dude, you are a life saver. :) Later he asked me why, because he thought that "fag" was alright... Of course I could not disclose, so I just said that I don't feel comfortable around him and that led him thinking that he used to like me and then when I detested that, he just thought otherwise... and I tried to defend myself by telling him that "It's NOT what you think, but I can't tell you anymore." *sigh* But luckily he left it at that and when I asked him not to mention it to another person, he said he wouldn't and I believe him. :)

I know that avoiding the fag means that I am the weaker one, but I don't know how I'd be if I were to work directly with him. It sounds like I am not over it. But in honest fact, I am scarred. :( Scarred because I thought I could trust him - as my friend. I guess he was never one to begin with. I was blurred in my judgment and never again will I be blurred.

The only thing that will upset me now, is hearing the shit that goes around. If I don't hear anything, I will be fine, but if I do, I will feel shit again. I know that the shit that goes around is merely gossip and untrue, but it does bother me that people talk as if I am the bad one, or that I was the one who was wrong. It pisses me off that the guys get the benefit of the doubt and are considered heroes when it comes to those things, while girls are nothing more but what the labels entail.

As an example, one of the fag's friends asked me while we were lining up for mains, "Are you early or late" and to that I replied "late". You see, most people swap because they don't want to work late or want to stay late for more hours. By me saying that, I confirmed to them that I didn't swap partners for an early finish but because I didn't want to work with him (as his partner, I was placed on late finish and he was on early finish and the person I had swapped with was another late finisher). CRAPOLA. I wish I wasn't stuck in this shit hole. I wish people didn't gossip, because being the target hurts. Maybe you all think I am looking too much into it all.... perhaps I am, but I know that shit has been going around and there is only so much I can take.

But ignorance is bliss I say. I don't need to care what those insignificant peoples say, because I know the truth and I was never wrong AND shouldn't be made to feel like I was wrong for telling the authorities and my best friends. I did the right thing. For if I didn't I would've broken down long ago and who knows what would have become of me? I am glad for the least that I returned to work. The only thing I wish I could face up to was the gossiping crew and telling them straight my side so that they can see what a pathetic fag he is. Oh well, WHATEVER...







On imparting my wisdom to Alex, he agrees and replies...

i r el presidente says:
well u speak sense

LOL. This is probably the first time someone has told me that, I speak "sense" or that they value what I say. Usually, I ramble on and on and end up with something that is so foreign to the topic that I forget what I was meant to be rambling on about!! <-- Even that sentence dun really make much sense anymore.. but you get my gist.




Thursday, June 01, 2006


This morning's self defence class was AWESOME!! Absolutely fantastic. We learnt a lot of useful manoeuvres to protect ourselves as well as fight back when necessary. Some of my partners were really into it, using extreme force, so now I have a bruise on my right wrist and a bit of pain there too.. *sniff* But it was still excellent!! I definately empowered and confident.. soo watch out peoples!! DON'T TOUCH ME! Or it's assult!!! And I'll assult you back!! HEhehehe I feel motivated to take up a self defence or even some sort of martial arts class now. Yeah, yeah, I might be a lil old, but I don't really care! Might go start a fight now... jk ;P

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BUT I can't help but complain.. But this person, lets call them, "Dai Bo Lo"... is so frigging annoying. Dai Bo Lo thinks he's so good and experienced - but why the hell would you even bother doing this course if you've already got the experience?? Must be cos Dai Bo Lo has no friends cos no one likes him - why doesn't anyone like him?? Cos he is weird and likes young girls? Don't EVER ask me if I want to "experience" anything ever again, stoopid bad man Dai Bo Lo! Too bad I learnt self defence so late in the semester, otherwise I could've used some kick-ass moves to protect myself against Hum Sup Dai Bo Lo. GRRRRRR


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Last night we all went over to Mike and Nat's new place. Quite a lot of family and close friends came along...

Highlights:

All in all, it was a lovely gathering! Wished we had more of those!

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Got work tonight. Apparently it's one of those employee award nights. Crapola. But I need the money, so I don't mind. Tomorrow I've also got my interview with my work placement. It was meant to be today, but then I had to cancel it cos of the self defence class. It was all worth it though! Anyway, I need to think about what I'm gonna say when she asks me about my goals in life, what I want to achieve from my experience there etc. I hope my nerves don't get the better of me! *fingers crossed* Hope it works out... On the bright side, at least I'll be able to save on petrol for the next month since it's relatively close to my house!!