It has been four weeks into my course and I've been hit with a slight dilemma. Firstly, the majority of classes have been pretty boring and non-stimulating... Structures of some of the classes are inefficient - either the group work we had to do were the same (each time we had to do it) therefore becoming monotonous and boring AND/OR the lecturer couldn't control the class - we kept getting off track, thus becoming boring and tiring. I know, I know, we are still in the early stages so haven't covered much... But I find it hard to concentrate and remain interested when the classes are simply not challenging enough... Maybe I have matured. I mean compared to those teens who have come out of high school, I am much more settled than them... THANK GOODNESS (and about time!)!!

Another issue is how REAL this all is. I mean as an advocate for example, we're learning a lot of law so that we can represent those most in need. People who are usually on very low income, people who are homeless, people who are victims of domestic violence, people with drug and alcohol problems, people with disabilities, etc etc are those we refer to as "most in need" rather than disadvantaged. This is one of my favourite classes because our lecturer knows how to generate interest and conduct the class effectively. I also like how he is the only one who uses Powerpoint presentations and presents in an interesting and convincing manner.

So, I started thinking about how much passion I really have with helping others. It struck me that maybe I don't have enough passion... Like how my heart is there but my mind isn't??? Like for example, a person who sponsers a child and a person who flies to Africa to digs wells for the community are still considered as HELPING but on different degrees or levels right? I think I may be more the donation one. Does that mean that I'm not really committed? That I'd be a half-hearted community worker??

I want to do it, but I am also scared. And that fear that I cannot help one who comes to me in desperate need, worries me. I feel like if I don't have to balls to stand up for myself then how am I going to help others? If there are certain issues that I can't even talk about, such as a death in the family, how am I going to counsel others who are going through such painful life events?? Likewise how I am an emotional person, I'd probably cry everytime someone tells me the shit they had to go through. I don't know where the professionalism would come from (for me). Hopefully, throughout this course I will learn to be confident with myself as well as learn how to HELP those in the community who are most in need.

FYI, I know that the dates AND times are muddled on the pictures but I really CBF changing them!

So just to sorta get my dates back on track, yesterday (Saturday 25/02) was Leon Lai's 30th birthday. He had a BBQ on the foreshore and then we went surf katting (katamaranging?! - I can't spell!). That was indeed the highlight of my day (as I had been wanting to go for agess now)!! Not to mention getting hit in the head by the sail and ALMOST falling into the river when the wind and/or Jimmy's manouvering went wrong!! LOL!!

Karaoke was pretty ordinary, guess I didn't really have thatttt much fun because I didn't know half the people and I'm not close to Audrey and co. BUT she proved to be one hellova singer and one fine lady! Hung out with Christine and Janet - was nice to catch up with them... Leon got pissed drunk (expected) and I got itchy from what I thought was mozzie bites/sunburn/allergic reaction (to Maccas? to Chicken Treat? to Chivas and green tea?! *sob*).. Ahh wells, nothing a bit of Polarmine didn't heal... But it DID stress me out, and that DID make me cranky, so SORRY babes!

Today I went to Cottesloe Beach with Dan and Tommy. Perfect weather, lots and lots of people. I'm glad we went cos I feel like I got it out of my system cos 1. I'm pretty "mocha" shade now (I'd like to think so!!) and 2. Everyone's busy doing their own thing, no one really has much time to go bumming on the beach, SO beach fever is pretty much over... *sigh* Ahh wells, there's always next year!!

It has been four weeks into my course and I've been hit with a slight dilemma. Firstly, the majority of classes have been pretty boring and non-stimulating... Structures of some of the classes are inefficient - either the group work we had to do were the same (each time we had to do it) therefore becoming monotonous and boring AND/OR the lecturer couldn't control the class - we kept getting off track, thus becoming boring and tiring. I know, I know, we are still in the early stages so haven't covered much... But I find it hard to concentrate and remain interested when the classes are simply not challenging enough... Maybe I have matured. I mean compared to those teens who have come out of high school, I am much more settled than them... THANK GOODNESS (and about time!)!!

Another issue is how REAL this all is. I mean as an advocate for example, we're learning a lot of law so that we can represent those most in need. People who are usually on very low income, people who are homeless, people who are victims of domestic violence, people with drug and alcohol problems, people with disabilities, etc etc are those we refer to as "most in need" rather than disadvantaged. This is one of my favourite classes because our lecturer knows how to generate interest and conduct the class effectively. I also like how he is the only one who uses Powerpoint presentations and presents in an interesting and convincing manner.

So, I started thinking about how much passion I really have with helping others. It struck me that maybe I don't have enough passion... Like how my heart is there but my mind isn't??? Like for example, a person who sponsers a child and a person who flies to Africa to digs wells for the community are still considered as HELPING but on different degrees or levels right? I think I may be more the donation one. Does that mean that I'm not really committed? That I'd be a half-hearted community worker??

I want to do it, but I am also scared. And that fear that I cannot help one who comes to me in desperate need, worries me. I feel like if I don't have to balls to stand up for myself then how am I going to help others? If there are certain issues that I can't even talk about, such as a death in the family, how am I going to counsel others who are going through such painful life events?? Likewise how I am an emotional person, I'd probably cry everytime someone tells me the shit they had to go through. I don't know where the professionalism would come from (for me). Hopefully, throughout this course I will learn to be confident with myself as well as learn how to HELP those in the community who are most in need.

FYI, I know that the dates AND times are muddled on the pictures but I really CBF changing them!

So just to sorta get my dates back on track, yesterday (Saturday 25/02) was Leon Lai's 30th birthday. He had a BBQ on the foreshore and then we went surf katting (katamaranging?! - I can't spell!). That was indeed the highlight of my day (as I had been wanting to go for agess now)!! Not to mention getting hit in the head by the sail and ALMOST falling into the river when the wind and/or Jimmy's manouvering went wrong!! LOL!!

Karaoke was pretty ordinary, guess I didn't really have thatttt much fun because I didn't know half the people and I'm not close to Audrey and co. BUT she proved to be one hellova singer and one fine lady! Hung out with Christine and Janet - was nice to catch up with them... Leon got pissed drunk (expected) and I got itchy from what I thought was mozzie bites/sunburn/allergic reaction (to Maccas? to Chicken Treat? to Chivas and green tea?! *sob*).. Ahh wells, nothing a bit of Polarmine didn't heal... But it DID stress me out, and that DID make me cranky, so SORRY babes!

Today I went to Cottesloe Beach with Dan and Tommy. Perfect weather, lots and lots of people. I'm glad we went cos I feel like I got it out of my system cos 1. I'm pretty "mocha" shade now (I'd like to think so!!) and 2. Everyone's busy doing their own thing, no one really has much time to go bumming on the beach, SO beach fever is pretty much over... *sigh* Ahh wells, there's always next year!!