OHhh and Jess took my Sunday night shift, so MOS, here I come!! Okay, truthfully, I'm not that excited. But it would be nice. I deserve a wind down. :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's exotic dance (not sure if this is the name, but something like that!) week next week. There's this really cool fair on Monday. I really want to go, but it's held somewhere in Morley though, so see how... There's gonna be sales on those exotic dance costumes and all... sounds interesting... ;)

Wow. I feel like I've been neglecting my blog for ages!! So I decided to give it a new look. I couldn't really find a template that WOWed me, but this one looked pretty sweet. :) I think there is a bit toooo much green for my liking, but it's a nice change.

Aiks. Those links didn't work. They just take you to the LV site. Poobumz. Anways just click the WOMEN's catalogue --> SHOES --> SUMMER 2006 Ballerinas and Pumps. You will see them in there! >> M U A K Z x O x O <<

I've become rather stingy. Ever since falling and being kicked and stomped by the bank for two months (dishonour fees *sniff* kick them when they're down they say and in this instance, when they're poor/broke!), I've decided STINGINESS is the way to go. *thumbs up*

I don't dare go to the shops as I know I'll get itchies to waste my money on unnecessary items. I've even been putting off going to Coles/Action/Woollys for some new deoderant (yes, see I don't even need it yet - my roll-on hasn't even finished but I just wanted to get a spray on for a change) *sigh*

Got a newsletter from LV. I never bother looking at them cos I know I can't afford anything. I didn't even voluntarily sign up for it. They did it when Jimmy's mum bought me that LV bag and has put me on their mailing and emailing list since. JOY but there's no point adding to my wants and wishes list if I've got more important things I need to use my hard earned cash on...

Anyways, just now, I clicked into the site and found some lovelies!! Yes, it's SHOE FEVER agains!! I've always thought it was crazy how people can easily spent $300, $400 up to thousands of dollars on expensive branded shoes. AND I have always said that I would much rather spend my money on other things or at least cheaper shoes, and perhaps a few new tops with that amount of money... I guess that's the diffenece in thinking between the rich and the poor. Aiks I better not start any preaching as I've got work to do!!

Here's one of the sweet calf leather ballerina flats I found. Isn't the pink so me?? ;P And the yellow looks nice and casual too. The calf leather 9.5cm pumps are hot too. *girly giggle* Can't even contain my excitement even though I'm not even going to buy them!! Ahh, how sad!

I quite like this antigua canvan ballerina too. Cocoa colour is alright. The other colours didn't show a pic so I'm not sure how the raspberry or the navy looks. Again, the 9.5cm pumps version in the pink is also delish!!

I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;p hehe

Talking about brand and style. I saw this girl in Formosa last night. She was this petite asian girl in her late teens or early twenties and she was wearing some Supre blue dotti ummmm top and pant duo - you know, those that are joint together? Well this suit was a strapless number and short shorts. To keep the look conservative (I'm guessing or maybe cos it was too chilly to be wearing that number), she wore a white turtle neck underneath.

Now that suit was rather cute and the look she tried to present just didn't work. She looked like a nerd trying to dress "in". A big no, no. In addition to this she had this LV monogram mini slouch bag AND wait for this................ the monogram mini sneakers. Yeah, she was coordinated in that sense, but she looked totally wrong. A fashion disaster.

Firstly, her suit was blue and white dots and her accessories (bag and shoes) was the monogram in pink and white. Too many clashing patterns and in all honesty, she did not suit that look at all. She would have look cuter with her expensive accessories in the cute Honkie or Taiwanese look. You know the one I'm talking about? Something like skirt and stockings and a cute cardi?? Something like that lah. AND if she had wanted to make that suit work, she should have bared it all, forget about the turtle neck and bring along a cardi or jacket instead and wear some heels for goodness sake!!! I'm no fashion police, but she must have broken some style rule!! I felt sorry for her! That just proves that not money does not buy style. kekekeke ;P

I'm unsure of how to describe what I am feeling these past few days. A little bit of everything. A mixed bag of emotions.

To begin with I'd like to think that I am a decent person. Nice and sometimes a little selfish/self-centred. Having said that, I know that too many times I have compromised myself for the sake of making others happy or keeping the peace around the place. I am not Saint, and I have made mistakes but all in all, I try to be live by what is important to me.

So what is important to me? I value my family and my friends and my relationship. The past few days have been a little disturbing. I have been thinking about my relationship. Whilst it is good in most aspects, I can't help but feel a stab of annoyance/a tinge of negativity. In all honesty, I must say it has to do with my bf's sudden interest in getting buff.

Well, what's the problem you may think? Nothing I suppose... It all started when he caught the flu. And on his road to recovery he managed to regain the "normal" sleeping and waking (i.e. kick the nocturnal habit) pattern. I was thrilled when this happened because I knew that nocturnalism was bothering him and hindering him (and in some instances, us) from leading better, more productive days. Then the next week after waking up around 9am or simply early, on a 5 day consecutive basis, he even VOLUNTARILY went HOME after a night of celebration with the boys for Dom and Sophia's birthday. DOUBLE YAY. I was absolutely ecstacic.

This week, the one just passed. He started full blast into his working out and healthy diet (and shit). Okay, the "and shit" is rather uncalled for, cos wasn't I happy about all of this? Really, this change of attitude and behaviour is truly GREAT! I should be happy for him. I was happy for him. But presently the negativity or resentment (?) that I am feeling is eating away at me. He is becoming everything I thought I wanted him to be - getting fit, eating healthily, waking up early and making most of his time etc. Yet, why am I feeling unsatisfied, even to the point of unhappy about it?

There obviously is some underlying reason as to the reason why I do not like this change of attitude and behaviour in him. Truthfully I can say, it is predominately, all within me. I cannot deal with sudden change well. On a much deeper level, I've got some personal concerns of him leaving me for someone more fit, better body etc - especially when he gets all buff and some pretty 18 year old eyes him and pets his (by then) humongous ego... off he will go, mesmerised by her beauty, and ditch me, the old hag for some young lovin'. Yep, my imagination has run away and gotten the better of me once again. Good on ya. And now I am talking to myself. *sigh* So it seems like all this is happening as a direct result of my low self-esteem... ALL MY FAULT... Or is it?

I AM GENUINELY happy for him that he is changing for the better. What I would like from him is INCLUSION. I'm not saying I want to have work out sessions with him and buff up. But I'd very much like it if he would REMEMBER to call me when he says he would. I would very much appreciate it if he would remember that while we are together and happy, I'd still like that COMMUNICATION and CONNECTION. (Here, I'd like to note that most things have never been better - although subtle, I do appreciate his efforts and those short but sweet phone conversations we have every night). I simply don't like it when I hear from him that he decided to work out before he gave me that 5 minute call. I mean, how is it difficult to give me a buzz BEFORE his workout?? And then after he works out he'd go shower then eat and by then it's night and I would have been waiting for some few hours... You get my drift??

The fear of being #2, 3, or even lower down the list when he finds a new interest/hobby/crave freaks me out. I want to be there to SUPPORT him. I want to SHARE his new found interest/hobby/crave and I want to CELEBRATE that with him. Is that too much to ask? I wonder... But when he forgets to call me or decides to make that phone call to me later (like after his work out session), it SHITS me. For am I less important to his sudden obsession with becoming buffman?

As self-centred as that may sound, what I am trying to say is, I don't want to feel as if he "GOT OVER" me (as his, I-want-to-get-back-with-you slash I-love-you and I-want-to-get-married-with-you-HONEST) and has discovered a new and perhaps more exciting interest/hobby/crave/lifestyle change (getting buff).

So that is what has been creating turmoil within me the past few days.

I look at other couples and whilst I feel happy for them, I also feel a bit envious. As if what they've got is better than what I've (we've) got. Like the old saying, "The grass is always greener on the otherside." The green eyed monster is creeping out and it's taking a toll on my sanity at present. I DON'T LIKE IT, yet I don't know how to deal with these silly feelings I am feeling. :(

I'd also like to emphasis the fact that I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY. I'm trying to cope by focusing on the positives of the situation. I am also trying not to have that doubt because I know it is uncalled for and usually it is just me over dramatising everything. :)

What do you think of this babe? Please don't brush it off and say it's nothing and that I am just being silly. For I know that already. But I would like you to think about what I have said and think about how you react in the future. "It's not just what you say, it's what you do... It's not just what you do, it's what you say" :)

OHhh and Jess took my Sunday night shift, so MOS, here I come!! Okay, truthfully, I'm not that excited. But it would be nice. I deserve a wind down. :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's exotic dance (not sure if this is the name, but something like that!) week next week. There's this really cool fair on Monday. I really want to go, but it's held somewhere in Morley though, so see how... There's gonna be sales on those exotic dance costumes and all... sounds interesting... ;)

Wow. I feel like I've been neglecting my blog for ages!! So I decided to give it a new look. I couldn't really find a template that WOWed me, but this one looked pretty sweet. :) I think there is a bit toooo much green for my liking, but it's a nice change.

Aiks. Those links didn't work. They just take you to the LV site. Poobumz. Anways just click the WOMEN's catalogue --> SHOES --> SUMMER 2006 Ballerinas and Pumps. You will see them in there! >> M U A K Z x O x O <<

I've become rather stingy. Ever since falling and being kicked and stomped by the bank for two months (dishonour fees *sniff* kick them when they're down they say and in this instance, when they're poor/broke!), I've decided STINGINESS is the way to go. *thumbs up*

I don't dare go to the shops as I know I'll get itchies to waste my money on unnecessary items. I've even been putting off going to Coles/Action/Woollys for some new deoderant (yes, see I don't even need it yet - my roll-on hasn't even finished but I just wanted to get a spray on for a change) *sigh*

Got a newsletter from LV. I never bother looking at them cos I know I can't afford anything. I didn't even voluntarily sign up for it. They did it when Jimmy's mum bought me that LV bag and has put me on their mailing and emailing list since. JOY but there's no point adding to my wants and wishes list if I've got more important things I need to use my hard earned cash on...

Anyways, just now, I clicked into the site and found some lovelies!! Yes, it's SHOE FEVER agains!! I've always thought it was crazy how people can easily spent $300, $400 up to thousands of dollars on expensive branded shoes. AND I have always said that I would much rather spend my money on other things or at least cheaper shoes, and perhaps a few new tops with that amount of money... I guess that's the diffenece in thinking between the rich and the poor. Aiks I better not start any preaching as I've got work to do!!

Here's one of the sweet calf leather ballerina flats I found. Isn't the pink so me?? ;P And the yellow looks nice and casual too. The calf leather 9.5cm pumps are hot too. *girly giggle* Can't even contain my excitement even though I'm not even going to buy them!! Ahh, how sad!

I quite like this antigua canvan ballerina too. Cocoa colour is alright. The other colours didn't show a pic so I'm not sure how the raspberry or the navy looks. Again, the 9.5cm pumps version in the pink is also delish!!

I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;p hehe

Talking about brand and style. I saw this girl in Formosa last night. She was this petite asian girl in her late teens or early twenties and she was wearing some Supre blue dotti ummmm top and pant duo - you know, those that are joint together? Well this suit was a strapless number and short shorts. To keep the look conservative (I'm guessing or maybe cos it was too chilly to be wearing that number), she wore a white turtle neck underneath.

Now that suit was rather cute and the look she tried to present just didn't work. She looked like a nerd trying to dress "in". A big no, no. In addition to this she had this LV monogram mini slouch bag AND wait for this................ the monogram mini sneakers. Yeah, she was coordinated in that sense, but she looked totally wrong. A fashion disaster.

Firstly, her suit was blue and white dots and her accessories (bag and shoes) was the monogram in pink and white. Too many clashing patterns and in all honesty, she did not suit that look at all. She would have look cuter with her expensive accessories in the cute Honkie or Taiwanese look. You know the one I'm talking about? Something like skirt and stockings and a cute cardi?? Something like that lah. AND if she had wanted to make that suit work, she should have bared it all, forget about the turtle neck and bring along a cardi or jacket instead and wear some heels for goodness sake!!! I'm no fashion police, but she must have broken some style rule!! I felt sorry for her! That just proves that not money does not buy style. kekekeke ;P

I'm unsure of how to describe what I am feeling these past few days. A little bit of everything. A mixed bag of emotions.

To begin with I'd like to think that I am a decent person. Nice and sometimes a little selfish/self-centred. Having said that, I know that too many times I have compromised myself for the sake of making others happy or keeping the peace around the place. I am not Saint, and I have made mistakes but all in all, I try to be live by what is important to me.

So what is important to me? I value my family and my friends and my relationship. The past few days have been a little disturbing. I have been thinking about my relationship. Whilst it is good in most aspects, I can't help but feel a stab of annoyance/a tinge of negativity. In all honesty, I must say it has to do with my bf's sudden interest in getting buff.

Well, what's the problem you may think? Nothing I suppose... It all started when he caught the flu. And on his road to recovery he managed to regain the "normal" sleeping and waking (i.e. kick the nocturnal habit) pattern. I was thrilled when this happened because I knew that nocturnalism was bothering him and hindering him (and in some instances, us) from leading better, more productive days. Then the next week after waking up around 9am or simply early, on a 5 day consecutive basis, he even VOLUNTARILY went HOME after a night of celebration with the boys for Dom and Sophia's birthday. DOUBLE YAY. I was absolutely ecstacic.

This week, the one just passed. He started full blast into his working out and healthy diet (and shit). Okay, the "and shit" is rather uncalled for, cos wasn't I happy about all of this? Really, this change of attitude and behaviour is truly GREAT! I should be happy for him. I was happy for him. But presently the negativity or resentment (?) that I am feeling is eating away at me. He is becoming everything I thought I wanted him to be - getting fit, eating healthily, waking up early and making most of his time etc. Yet, why am I feeling unsatisfied, even to the point of unhappy about it?

There obviously is some underlying reason as to the reason why I do not like this change of attitude and behaviour in him. Truthfully I can say, it is predominately, all within me. I cannot deal with sudden change well. On a much deeper level, I've got some personal concerns of him leaving me for someone more fit, better body etc - especially when he gets all buff and some pretty 18 year old eyes him and pets his (by then) humongous ego... off he will go, mesmerised by her beauty, and ditch me, the old hag for some young lovin'. Yep, my imagination has run away and gotten the better of me once again. Good on ya. And now I am talking to myself. *sigh* So it seems like all this is happening as a direct result of my low self-esteem... ALL MY FAULT... Or is it?

I AM GENUINELY happy for him that he is changing for the better. What I would like from him is INCLUSION. I'm not saying I want to have work out sessions with him and buff up. But I'd very much like it if he would REMEMBER to call me when he says he would. I would very much appreciate it if he would remember that while we are together and happy, I'd still like that COMMUNICATION and CONNECTION. (Here, I'd like to note that most things have never been better - although subtle, I do appreciate his efforts and those short but sweet phone conversations we have every night). I simply don't like it when I hear from him that he decided to work out before he gave me that 5 minute call. I mean, how is it difficult to give me a buzz BEFORE his workout?? And then after he works out he'd go shower then eat and by then it's night and I would have been waiting for some few hours... You get my drift??

The fear of being #2, 3, or even lower down the list when he finds a new interest/hobby/crave freaks me out. I want to be there to SUPPORT him. I want to SHARE his new found interest/hobby/crave and I want to CELEBRATE that with him. Is that too much to ask? I wonder... But when he forgets to call me or decides to make that phone call to me later (like after his work out session), it SHITS me. For am I less important to his sudden obsession with becoming buffman?

As self-centred as that may sound, what I am trying to say is, I don't want to feel as if he "GOT OVER" me (as his, I-want-to-get-back-with-you slash I-love-you and I-want-to-get-married-with-you-HONEST) and has discovered a new and perhaps more exciting interest/hobby/crave/lifestyle change (getting buff).

So that is what has been creating turmoil within me the past few days.

I look at other couples and whilst I feel happy for them, I also feel a bit envious. As if what they've got is better than what I've (we've) got. Like the old saying, "The grass is always greener on the otherside." The green eyed monster is creeping out and it's taking a toll on my sanity at present. I DON'T LIKE IT, yet I don't know how to deal with these silly feelings I am feeling. :(

I'd also like to emphasis the fact that I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY. I'm trying to cope by focusing on the positives of the situation. I am also trying not to have that doubt because I know it is uncalled for and usually it is just me over dramatising everything. :)

What do you think of this babe? Please don't brush it off and say it's nothing and that I am just being silly. For I know that already. But I would like you to think about what I have said and think about how you react in the future. "It's not just what you say, it's what you do... It's not just what you do, it's what you say" :)